Forgiveness : Letting Go and Healing

FORGIVENESS: LETTING GO AND HEALING
Preached by Ps. Ebenezer Agbozo

BIG IDEA
Unforgiveness poisons the one holding onto it. Freedom comes through forgiving others, forgiving yourself, letting go of the past, and choosing to heal and move forward.

INTRODUCTION
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it. Unforgiveness becomes bitterness and clamour. When we see the person who hurt us, our heart beats rapidly, a sign that unforgiveness is killing something in us.

MAIN POINT 1 - THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS
Scripture - Matthew 18:15-20

Moreover if my brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault, to him and to him only. If he hears you then you have gained a brother. These are the words of Jesus.

Explanation
Someone will always offend you, a sister, a brother, a wife, a husband. When that happens, Jesus gives the remedy:

1. Go to the person alone. If he listens, you have gained a brother.
2. If he does not listen, take one or two others with you.
3. If there is still no reconciliation, tell the church, an elder or pastor.
4. If he still neglects to listen, count him as a heathen or a publican.

S3 obi fom wo aa kc pa aky3w s3 wan fii, kan no s3 cy3 cdebcny3nii.

When two agree and plead with someone and the person still refuses, God bears witness, because where two or three are gathered, God is there as a witness. That is the context.

Peter then came to Jesus and asked how many times he should forgive. Jesus answered, seventy times seven. Start counting when someone offends you. If it ever exceeds 500 times, pastor said he would underline it for you, you don't have to forgive. That is how far the standard is meant to stretch.

Illustration
A man owed a king 10,000 talents. He could not pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife and his children be sold to settle the debt. The man begged for mercy and the king forgave him everything. That same man then found someone who owed him 10 Ghana cedis, grabbed him and demanded payment. When the king heard, he called the man back and held him accountable for showing no mercy.

Application
For example, someone has two pens. Yours stops working during an exam and the person refuses to lend you one. You still have not forgiven them, and you have kept insulting them over it. If you want your prayers answered, you have to forgive. If you pray, God help me pass this exam, and you have not forgiven, you will fail.

MAIN POINT 2 - LETTING GO
Unless you let go, forgive yourself, forgive your situation, and realize the past is over, you cannot move on.

Illustration
For example, if someone gets pregnant while still in school, her mother's reaction can be so severe that it pushes the daughter toward wanting to end her life. Forgive yourself, then go to mummy and ask for forgiveness. Mummy will forgive you, and you can move on.

Life is like riding a bicycle, you keep your balance by continuing to move. If you have struggled with something like drinking, and you have heard God's word and forgiven yourself, you can let go, repent, and move forward.

Example
Early in life, pastor wanted to go to school, but his father neglected him. He has since forgiven his father and moved on. Today he is a pastor and continues to grow.

You cannot heal in the place that broke you. Leave what broke you down and move on. Flee fornication. Run. Tell somebody to run. When you are broken, you cannot be healed in that place, so run from it.

Just as the sun sets only to rise again, our hearts heal to laugh again. When someone offends you, learn to forgive, even up to 490 times.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

1. Should we make reference to the offense after forgiving?
No. There should be no reference to the sin after forgiving.

2. What if the person does not come to ask for forgiveness?
Act maturely and forgive, even if they never come to ask.

3. How do I maintain the relationship if someone keeps offending me?
Pray.

4. Can we close a chapter with people?
Yes. Love them, but choose your friends wisely.

5. Do I still remain a publican if I now forgive?
No. You are now right with God.

6. Is it the offender's job to decide how the offended person should behave?
No. Act as the matured person, that is the responsibility of the one offended.